Show me Your Irish!

I just got back from a weeklong vacation with my mother-in-law’s side of the family.   And they’re Irish (which means I’m Irish by association; this is important to remember later.).  Before I continue, I must point out that they aren’t your typical Irish family.  Sure they’re loud and passionate and always right but they don’t drink.  Except for the kids in my generation.  The adults are all non-drinkers.  So while the rest of us are stumbling around the adults sit back and laugh at us.  It’s a great time!

Let me back up a bit and offer some info.  We went to Ireland last year.  (If you haven’t gone you must.  It was absolutely beautiful and the history is amazing!)  During and after the trip, my kids are now super aware of everything Irish.  At least flag colors, certain words and possibly part of the culture.  So my kids are all excited about being part Irish and we all think that’s pretty cool.

So a few weeks before we went on vaca, we were at the pool and my son said “Hey Dad. You wanna see my Irish?”  I refrained from jumping up, rushing towards him with a towel to cover whatever he was calling his “Irish”.  The entire scene played out in my head in slow motion.  Instead, I turned my attention towards them in time to see my son lift his swimming trunk legs to expose his white as snow thighs.  We all laughed and thought he was gosh darn cute.  For the next couple of weeks, he’d continued his little bit.

Vaca time and I was chatting up my husband’s cousin who is also super proud of her Irish heritage.  My son again said to his cousin, “Hey you wanna see my Irish?”  Now, I was little more prepared and he showed her his thighs again which compared to his now tan skin was more white than before.  He then turned to me and said, “Mom.  Show me your Irish.”  Now I could’ve played dumb and been like I’m not Irish, but I just didn’t want to admit that (did you remember?)  Instead, I turned to him and said, “Mommy’s Irish is not something everyone should see.  It’s covered up.”  He then said, “Why?  Is it your butt?” 

How does this relate to writing?  Let me explain.  Writing is personal and very hard sometimes to show other people.  You work and work to make it just right but still, you’re never sure if it’s good enough.  Just like my Irish.  It’s personal and hidden and I work out to make it look good but never really sure.  (Is this a bit of stretch???)  I like to be as free as my son and show off my Irish all the time just like my writing.  I’m sure one day I’ll feel okay showing both whenever asked.

So I ask you.  Show me your Irish!

Outline, Outline, Outline

When I first started out on this writing journey, I'd read everywhere I needed to make an outline.  Uhhgg.  Really?  Was I back in 9th grade english?  I hated outlining then and with age my dislike never changed.  So, I thought, heck, I'll just wing it.  And sure I wrote a 75K word YA Paranormal but I never got anyone to look at it.  I started again on my second YA Para and 65K words later I had another finished product.  Still no agent but I did make a "rough" outline and the writing did go easier. 

But I still wasn't a believer.  Until I started working on a novella for submission to TMP.  There were parameters to the story that needed to be met and maybe, just maybe, that drove me to the insane act of...wait for it...making an outline.

AAAAHHHHHH!

I know.  It took me a few minutes to come to grips.  So, I made an outline.  Again, it was still rough but more complete than the previous.  And ya know what?  I am now the proud owner of a YA novella that will be published next April by TMP!  *toots horn*

I know what you might be thinking.  So what, total luck.  And sure, maybe but let me prove my point some more. 

You've recently read how I'm having a rather tough summer with family illness and now her recent death and during this time, I've tried pouring my pain into my writing by working and completing another novella for the same publisher but my juices just weren't flowing and I didn't find myself thinking about the characters.  My reasoning?  I honestly believe if I had an outline created for this new story, my juices would have a place to flow to.  Structure, form, purpose.  So, now I back track, read what I've written and create a much needed outline to follow and create another novella I hope to get picked up as well.

If you're new to writing, I know it can be overwhelming.  You have stars in your eyes and fire in your belly to see your name in print, or like me, on an e-book.  But first, you have to do the leg work.  We can't all be top selling authors over night.  Heck, I read an article about how JK Rowling outlines.  Really, she does.  Do the leg work, take your time becuase with hard work and passion, it can happen to you as well.  And remember, ask for help.  There are tons of places to find writing budies.  Good luck!

I Don't Wanna...

The summer hasn’t turned out as I’d hoped.  I had plan to work from home, take my kids to the pool and spend some quality time with my Grandmother and getting her out of the house.  Well, June 5^th came and blew my little world apart.  A week later, my Grandmother was diagnosed with liver cancer, released from the hospital only to return the next day because she was bleeding.  A week after that we were told by the liver specialists they couldn’t treat my Grandmother until she was stronger.  However, since June 5^th, she’s become completely dependent on me, my uncle and nurses only being able to feed herself.  Try to imagine having to help walk your grandmother or mother to the restroom, then help her sit on the toilet and then clean her up.  Hard.  Hard.  Hard.

Thursday, the same week, we enrolled my Grandmother into respite care at a nursing home while my aunt and uncle went out of town.  We all thought it was the best place since she needed round the clock care and I still had a job and a family to take care of.  She was in there one day and starting vomiting.  They tried to control it but were unable to especially when blood was present.  Let me jump back and state the liver specialists told us she would retain large amounts of fluids and swell, her mind would start to go from the toxins and she’d start to bleed because the blood wasn’t able to get through the liver and had to go somewhere. 

Saturday, she was rushed to the ER where I met her and was finally admitted that evening with a lower bowl obstruction.  They inserted a tube in her stomach to drain her allowing the obstruction to move on its own since surgery was not an option.  Monday, with the tube still running from her nose to her stomach, my Grandmother decided she didn’t want to fight any longer.  Her Dr also informed us the same day that even if she were to get stronger, which didn’t look likely, she was no longer a candidate for any cancer treatment.  She’s in the late stages and her body was shutting down. 

Currently, she’s enrolled in a hospice facility and we wait.  Funny party?  She looks better today than she has this entire time.  Seriously.  I told her she has to act goofy so people don’t think I’m lying.

But in all honesty, these past few weeks have been the hardest.  I became her power of attorney, allowing me to make sure her medical wishes are acknowledged.  This one time, I don’t want to be the adult. 

The best part has been talking with her.  She’s still coherent and her first night without machines, we talked the entire night.  Our time together has been great.  Seeing her as she is has given my heart some peace.  I’m okay with her leaving this world because I know it’s what she wants and her happiness without pain is all we’ve ever wanted.

Thank you.

PS.  She’s still alive.